


Bi, Shy, and Ready to Cry

by apocalypse_of_the_god_damn_it_Michael



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: (also duh), (duh), Angst?, Because i've got ALOT COMING YOUR WAY, Bi+Rich is Bitch, Biphobe?, Bisexual Characters, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Gay Michael, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I was listening to in the bedroom down the hall when I was writing this and im cRYING, Idk what the term is, Im bad at tags okay, Jake is a biased homophobe, Jeremy is thumbs up, M/M, My foots asleep help, Rich is a finger guns bisexual, Somehow I embody both Rich Jeremy, This is pretty much just self projection, bi puns are best puns, need i say more?, post squip, so hope you like them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2019-11-29 13:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18223865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocalypse_of_the_god_damn_it_Michael/pseuds/apocalypse_of_the_god_damn_it_Michael
Summary: Jeremy is Bisexual. But unlike Rich, who ends each text with "bi" he's not quite as confident with his sexuality. So Jeremy decides to take a different route in coming out. He changes his back round on his phone to the bi flag. Is small, its simple, but its something. Because nobody ever really looks at Jeremy's phone, its more something for himself. But what happens when someone actually notices?





	1. An abundance of puns (and finger guns)

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of (very) self projected (not the falling in love with your best friend part, or the excessive porn watching part, and mostly the rest). Hope you enjoy my boy Jeremy figuring stuff out. Also, Rich has lisp, but as always I didn't write it. This chapter is all over the place. Forgive me if it doesn't make sense, and comment if you need any clarification

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of (very) self projected (not the falling in love with your best friend part, or the excessive porn watching part, and mostly the rest). Hope you enjoy my boy Jeremy figuring stuff out. Also, Rich has lisp, but as always I didn't write it. This chapter is all over the place. Forgive me if it doesn't make sense, and comment if you need any clarification

Jeremy was bi. Bi as in bisexual. Bisexual as in not straight. Jeremy Heere was not straight.

In all of Jeremy's seventeen years of life, he never thought that he would be anything but straight. He had always liked girls. They were pretty and funny and great. He spent two years of his life obsessing over Christine. Sounded like typical straight white guy behavior. He also never thought that he would take a super computer and let it control him. Shit happens.

It wasn't random that Jeremy realized that he was not quite as straight as he thought he was. There was something that made him realize this. To be more specific, Someone.

Micheal.

Michael was perfect. In a weird, retro kind of way. Jeremy could probably think about him for hours and not get bored. Which was what he was doing right now.

"Jeremy?"

He had really nice eyes

"Earth to Jeremy?"

They were brown, and when light shone on them they glowed

"Jeremy if you don't answer I'll stab you."

His hair was pretty too

"Jeremy!"

Whoops. Jeremy shook his head, and saw Rich, and Michael looking at him slightly concerned. "What the fuck is up with you dude?" Rich leaned forward, Hitting him a little too hard on the head. "Bi are you acting like this?" Both Michael and Jeremy looked disgusted. "Rich that was horrible I'm breaking up with you." Michael said. Jeremy flinched. Sometimes he forgot that Rich and Michael were dating.

"But really man, whats wrong?" The shortest boy asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jeremy sweated. "Nothing!" He gingerly removed Rich's hand. "Really it nothing." They didn't look convinced.

An awkward amount of silence filled the table. Rushing to fill it, Jeremy said the first thing that came to mind. "Wheres Christine?" He gestured around aimlessly in an attempt to seem convincing. "She's at play rehearsal." Michael looked confused. Why would she come here?" Jeremy desperately tried to remember where they were. "Christine doesn't like arcades." "Right." The silence was inching in. "Christine and her weird obsession with musicals ammi right?" Rich filled the ascending silence, finger gunning Jeremy. "Heh..yeah!" Jeremy gave a thumbs up, his automatic response to anything.

 

"Anyone wanna get a slushie?" Michael shifted his eyes in between the two other boys as he stood up. "I would kill for a slushie right now babe." Rich said, slinging his arm around his significantly taller boyfriends neck. Michael turned his head, looking back at Jeremy who was still sitting at the table.

"Jeremy you coming?"

Jeremy could almost hear the faint sound of "optic nerve blocking on"

"Yeah of course."

He stood up, and walked with Michael and Rich out of the arcade. They got to Michael's PT Cruiser, and Jeremy realized that he had forgotten his phone.

"Shit."

Michael and Rich turned around. "What is it?" Michael asked, smiling. His smile was perfect. Literally the best thing that ever happened to Jeremy every day. "I uh.. I.. um forgot my phone in the you know..." Jeremy gestured with his hands, pointing to the entrance of the arcade. Micheal followed his best friends hand movements. "The arcade?" He asked. "Yes!" Jeremy seemed to light up a little as he ran back to the doors. "thank you Michael!" He said as he ran. Michael grinned. "God he's a dork."

Jeremy ran into the arcade, and frantically searched for his phone. By Pacman? Nope. Donkey Kong? Nadda. By Just Dance? Also no. Finally he spotted it. The black case with its now trademarked "boyf" written on it was on the bench they had been sitting at. Jeremy jogged over, retrieved his phone, and ran out of the building again. When he got back to the car, he was met by something he didn't want to see.

Rich and Michael were making out against the car. Michael's back was against the door, and Rich had one hand pressed up against the window. Jeremy kind of felt sorry for the car.

"hey... over here!" Jeremy waved awkwardly attempting to dig his foot into the concrete ground. Rich turned away from Michael, and wiped his mouth with his wrist. "I uh found my phone." he waved it awkwardly, then put his hands back in his sweatshirt pocket as he walked to the car. "Um ah great!" Micheal rubbed the back of his neck, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

"I uh need to get in the car." Jeremy pointed at the door, and Michael hopped out of the way. Once they were in, Michael immediately turned on the radio. "You guys have one guess as to who this is." "I don't know! I'm gonna take a wild guess and say... Bob Marley?" Jeremy grinned "How did you guess!" Michael turned the radio up, and bobbed his head up and down. Everything seemed perfect. And Jeremy almost forgot that Rich was in the car. Almost.

"Hey babe."

You could only forget about Rich for so long. "Yeah Rich?" Michael held out his free hand and placed it on Rich's knee. "We just passed 711." "SHIT" Michael swerved a little, and did a U-turn. "Michael that's illegal." Rich crossed his arms. "Rich you talking is illegal." "Then arrest me daddy." If it was possible to do a spit take with air, Jeremy did it. "I'm still here!" Jeremy dug his hands into his hair.

"Yeah I know" Rich turned his head to grin at Jeremy. "Never forgot."

They pulled into the parking lot of 711, and Jeremy got out as fast as he could. He'd had enough of that car, and had seen a few suspect stains next to where he was sitting. He didn't want to know where they came from.

Every 711 to ever exist looks exactly the same. But each one has a different feeling when you walk in. This one felt creepy. "It's not my usual, but at least they all have the slushies." Michael held out his hands at the entrance, almost hitting a short employee. "Sorry!" He jumped away. Jeremy walked forward and stood next to Michael, who still looked terrified that he had hurt someone. Rich was at the other side. They passed by a gloomy looking boy in a trench coat holding a girls hand. The girl had a blue skirt and short, black hair. He was holding a bright blue slushie.

"Disgusting."

Michael said, glaring at the boys drink. "why?" Rich asked as he linked arms with Michael. "Blue slushies are the grossest thing anyone could ever drink." Michael looked genuinely upset. It was really cute. Jeremy began getting a little sidetracked as he watched Michael talk to Rich. He was so... so adorable. The way that he waved his hands when he got exited, and how he tilted his head up every minute or so to keep his glasses from falling was mesmerizing. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Michael asked him something.

"I um... yeah!" He said, and pulled his sweatshirt over his hand, biting it instead of his thumb. He hoped he hadn't just agreed to something horrible

"See! Jeremy agrees with me! Red slushies are the best." Michael crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue. Rich glared. It was a funny scene. Rich with his bright yellow sneakers, and short-ness looked kind of like an angry chihuahua. They got their slushies, and left. Michael gave him a ride home, and as soon as Jeremy got to his room, he face planted onto his bed.

The entire day had been emotionally draining. There was only so much Rich and Michael Jeremy could take. Why did he care though? Its not like Jeremy had disliked Rich. He was actually one of his close friends. So why did he care so much that he was dating his best friend? He rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He knew the real reason that he didn't want Rich dating Michael. He just didn't want to admit it. He didn't want Rich dating Michael because he wanted to be dating Michael.

"Shit"

"I'm bi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheheheheheheheheheheh  
> You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.  
> Meaning, I never thought I was one to write cliff-hangers, but HEERE we are. (yes I did that on purpose) I don't even know if this is a cliff hanger, I just really wanted to make that joke.  
> Will update within the next week or so (if I don't comment it'll help me get my shit together) Will always take suggestions/ feedback. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Jeremy in the bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy thinks about Micheal and himself, and Micheal is very helpful and sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyy. I'm back and also insanely sorry. I hope you enjoy the story and forgive me someday rip.  
> I would love feedback! literally comments m a k e m y d a y

Jeremy’s head was spinning. He couldn't be bi. Not him. Not Jeremy straight boy Heere. His stomach hurt as he thought about the underlying issue. He was in love with Micheal. He was in love with his best friend. His best friend who was in a relationship. The last time he had seen Micheal as happy as he was now was when 711 fixed their slushy machine. He was finally fully happy with Rich. He didn't want to be weird and possessive, but Michael was  _his_. It had always been Jeremy and Micheal. Not Micheal and Rich, with Jeremy on the side. He felt horrible for even thinking it. Rich was great, and Micheal deserved someone great. But didn't he deserve someone too? Didn't Jeremy, the one who was always there deserve a reward? But he wasn't always there. He had pushed Micheal away, and hurt him. He was the worst possible friend. Jeremy rolled over and realized he was crying. He didn't deserve Micheal. And Michael was better off without him. 

Jeremy swiped through his phone, his eyes glassy. He was a horrible person. The world would be better without Jeremy Heere ruining it. In a cloudy haze, he typed  _Bisexual_ into google. The first thing that came up was a pink, purple, and blue flag. "The bisexual flag" the heading stated. He stared at it for a solid minute, before someone opened the door to his room. "Son?" Jeremy threw his phone onto the floor, then looked up. "yeah dad?" He flicked his eyes back to the carpet of his floor. "I uh just wanted to tell you that dinners ready." "Oh." Jeremy pulled at the blanket draped over him. "Thanks." His dad closed the door again,and Jeremy picked his phone back up. He took a screenshot of the flag, then walked downstairs. 

In the morning Micheal was standing at the street corner, waiting for Jeremy. Rich wasn't there. "Hey Jer!" He waved, the same big grin plastered on his face. "Hey Micheal." Jeremy smiled weakly, and dug his feet into the ground. "Is something wrong?" Micheal looked concerned, and it made Jeremy feel even worse.  _Yes somethings wrong, I'm in love with you._ Jeremy thought. What he really said was "Nah, just kind of tired."Micheal looked like he didn't buy it, but he left Jeremy alone. "I'm picking up Rich at his house" He said as he got into his car. "So you can sit in the front." Jeremy felt himself smile. Micheal really was amazing. "thanks man." He climbed into the car and sat down.  _Maybe._ Jeremy thought,  _I can still be friends with Micheal._ Then Rich got into the car. 

It was the same as yesterday. Rich flirted and was obnoxious in a way that really made you like him. It made Jeremy want to cry. Seeing Rich call Micheal babe, and Micheal calling Rich babe back hurt. It was really cute, and the fact that it made him feel bad made him want to tear out his skull. "Yo Jeremy." Rich had leaned over the seat. "Shouldn't you be wearing a seatbelt?" Jeremy stared up at Rich, and attempted a smile. "Seatbelts are for losers." Rich grinned. "Seatbelts are for people who want to live." Micheal chimed in. "I guess I'm dating a loser then." Rich grinned. "Maybe I should break up with you for someone who doesn't wear seatbelts." Micheal and Rich both chuckled.  _ Please do.  _ Jeremy thought. "What was that? Micheal said, briefly turning to look at Jeremy. "Nothing!" Jeremy's face flushed. "Okay..well we're here!" Rich practically leaped out of the car, and Jeremy slid out slowly. Micheal grabbed Jeremy's arm, and they walked into school

Jeremy glanced up from his phone every second or two to see if anyone was looking. Its not like there was much to notice. Nothing unusual, except, you-know. The bi flag as the backround. He tried to remind himself that probably nobody knew what it was. But he felt anxiety deep in his stomach, the aching feeling. He felt his feet refuse to move. He felt the panic rising. This was a bad idea. This was a horrible, stupid idea. He needed to leave. He needed to get out. Everything was getting louder and he couldn't move. He felt his eyes fill with tears, and then he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey." A soft voice said. It pulled him into a bathroom. Jeremy stared up at Micheal. "Hey." Micheal's eyes are reassuring. They're soft, and warm, and aren't prying. "Its okay." Jeremy can't steady his breathing, but he feels a sense of calm around him. "It's all okay." Micheal repeats it over and over again. "Hey. Its okay." He didn't try to shake him out of it, or tell him he's crazy or needs to calm down. He just says "Hey." until he could breath normally again. Jeremy turned to look at him "Thank you." Micheal smiled. "No problem." He reached out a hand "You wanna talk?" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the description of Jeremys panic attack is based off of some of the things that happen to me when I have a panic attack. The way that Micheal de-escaleted was a way that is helpful to me. Panic attacks appear differently on different people, and different people can be helped in different ways. Just wanted to let you know that A) this may not be an accurate representation for panic attacks everywhere, however B) it is based on my very real panic attacks. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will update within two weeks!


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